last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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