I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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