First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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