And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
