Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
