Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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