My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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