Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
