you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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