I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
