there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
how do flat chested girls get laid?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
