I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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