she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
