I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
