I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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