matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
