She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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