3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
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He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
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I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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