I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So squirting runs in the family.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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