bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
