VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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