I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i believe in u and ur pee
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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