I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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