bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
