People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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