dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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