It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
