Me too!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize