if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
