When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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