she was so not down for the gang bang
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I wish they made helmets for livers.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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