Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
