My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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