Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
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He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
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ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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