Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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