I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
