Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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