Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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