I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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