Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
