We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
