How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
