Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
