I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
