Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
