I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
