Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
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At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
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Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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