There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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