and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
