Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
