last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize