the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
