Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize