Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
