i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
