That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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