so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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