A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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