just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
