And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
