Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
