dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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