hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
